Has anything bad ever happened to me? – Dreams Around The World

Has anything bad ever happened to me? – Dreams Around The World

So some of you know my story, some of you
don’t – when I first moved over to Europe in 2012, I moved to Hamburg and this was
towards the end of my first year of travel. I left Canada at the start of
that year, I moved to Costa Rica and then New York and my best friend who was
living in New York at the time was moving over to Germany and I was
following this goal I had. I don’t even remember where it came from but this
goal of living in five countries before I turned 30 and I didn’t know what
country I wanted to live in, so I followed him over to Germany. Now before
that 2011 was an insanely rough year for me. I was going through a lot of issues
with that, with confrontation, with just not very enjoyable things so fast
forward here and I’m in Germany and I’m talking with my friend and I was talking
about life and how easy I’ve had it and he looked at me really strange, like: What
are you talking about? You’ve been through some shit, man! And I thought back
to a number of things that I’m not gonna bring up not just the year before but
throughout my life, a lot of things, and it’s like – yeah but I haven’t been and I
kind of argued, but then I thought objectively, like pulled myself out of my
own head, and looked at my life. It was like yeah you’ve been through some
things you’ve had some hardship, some traumas and what I realized in that
moment is for me I just never gave myself the opportunity to look at myself
as a victim. I’ve always been focused on the future,
I’ve always either been looking at like what I want or what I want to do or
what’s gonna happen and I’ve never really taken a lot of time to look back
and make up excuses and I don’t necessarily know why that is but I just
don’t really think that would ever serve me, would it? Like we can look at our
parents and some of us have had good parents, some of us have had bad parents,
I personally think I’ve had pretty awesome parents and actually I should
point out now if you don’t listen to the podcast yet – I have a podcast – and I will
be doing a lot of episodes with my mom who is traveling South America on her
own for six months and so we’re doing some really cool shows together,
so if you are older or thinking about traveling solo or anything like that –
subscribe to the podcast because it’s gonna be cool. So back to my parents – I
think they’re great but I’m sure if I went to a psychologist I could find some
issues in their marriage or their parenting or something that would be a
reason for me to have a bad relationship or to feel bad or to have some kind of
issue I’m positive of that but what real purpose would that serve?
Now I’m not necessarily talking here about extreme trauma or extremely
serious issues we may have developed in childhood. There’s definitely time for
therapy and for psychologists and I’m a firm believer in seeking that kind of
medical help but I’m just talking about our overall attitudes. I think we all
know some people who tend to explain to you why they aren’t where they want to
be, there tends to be this reason or that reason, sometimes they blame themselves
but even with blaming themselves they’re focusing on the excuses. They’re not
telling you where they want to be, they’re not telling you about what
excites them, they’re just saying – yeah and then this happened and I had this
problem then bla bla bla and I get it – things have happened to all of us and I
personally if I were to talk to you, I would care and I would let you tell me
about these bad things that have happened to you, but that’s not going to
serve you really, is it? Is it going to serve you to relive that or are you
gonna be better off thinking that life is good, that good things happen to you
and that you aren’t a victim because once you decide you’re a victim and once you
focus on the past and focus even worse are the people who are victims in the
future like bad things haven’t even happened to them but they’ve decided
that because of who they are for whatever reason bad things not only have
happened but they will happen in the future and sometimes actually when you
break these people’s lives down, they’ve actually had pretty awesome lives but
somehow they’re still victims. Listen, I get it, we’ve all had very different
lives and maybe growing up in Canada I am more privileged than other people and
I bet there’s other people more privileged than me, that’s not what I’m
here to do, I’m here to compare all of us, I’m saying for
you as someone that I honestly care about and want to have a better life.
Just think about it – does it serve you to ever consider yourself a victim? Does it
serve you to make excuses and if you’re one of my subscribers I can almost
guarantee that you don’t think of yourself as a victim because you’re
someone who’s trying to improve and trying to make a better life and so
maybe if that’s the case and for some reason you’ve watched this long – share
this video with someone you know may be subtly, don’t try to offend them too much
but share this video with someone, you know, who is a bit more of a victim and
maybe you can help them turn from looking at the past, looking at the bad
to looking at what could be and change their orientation on life and hopefully
that means that even more and more good things will start happening to them.
Thank you for watching! If you are not yet a subscriber I publish new videos
every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday so hit that subscribe button and the bell and
I’ll catch you in another video soon. Ciao! you

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  1. It's funny that I had an argument with my sister and my parents about my career path, and after finding out what I really love, I've had a lot of criticisms about my career path and my parents and sister think, I'm not focused, I had a rough job and I stayed at some and jobs that I want to leave because of them, after finding out what I really want to pursue, these people think that I quit my job recently, but I got laid off, they feel as if they know my life. I kinda better after watching this, because damn I'm not a victim of my own choices, I just decided what I should be.

  2. I remember when I was about 19, and having gotten a bit more independence after leaving school for college I first realised I was the one in control of my life and that I could make my own decisions based on my own preferences, morals, belief etc. I remember finding that quite freeing and empowering being that I did have quite a few people around me with a victim mentality. I do sometimes feel myself start to head towards having a victim mentality from time to time but I try to be aware of it 🙂

  3. Hi Dan.
    I disagree with you regarding "not victim" syndrome and searching for help in this case. It can happen, that when we put ourselves in a victim position it isn't just about being negative and giving up. Thinking about our past and analyzing things can seriously help to develop ourselves and sometimes stop pattern of bad habits. Of course being just negative and complaining can't be beneficial. Although in some cases (not only traumas) it can help us to understand why are we doing some shit. And definitely doing it with psychologist or coach will be beneficial 😉

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