Welcome to Sunday with Lubach! This turned out better than expected. We have money to spend! *Cheering* Well, what should we do with it? I say: just spend it and if it you don’t agree, ”just jar it”. So, last week there was a terrorist attack in London. A 52-Year-old asshole, who thought his shitty ideas were more important than other people’s lives drove in to a group of pedestrians near the British Parliament and stabbed a police officer. – Four people died, amongst them a police officer and the attacker. – There are four victims, amongst them a police officer and the attacker. – By now, five people have lost their lives, including the attacker. – An attack this afternoon caused five casualties amongst them, the attacker. – Yeah. Guys, can’t we just stop with mentioning the death of the attacker and the victims in the same sentence? The attacker is not a victim it’s the guy that took the lives of the others. So don’t say: five dead, amongst which, the attacker. But say: There are four people dead.
Oh, and that asshole himself didn’t survive either. The only time you can say: ”Amongst which, the attacker” makes sense is is when someone shoots a hot air balloon in mid-air with four people in it and when the whole basket falls on top of him and everyone is dead, then you can say: There were four dead under whom (waaronder=including, but literally means “under whom”) the attacker. Meanwhile ISIS took responsibility for the attack in London and also the British PM believes, that the attacker was inspired by Islamic ideology and I can be mistaken, but it looks like there’s getting a pattern. People being completely obsessed with an old book and doing very stupid things. Look. In the past I also read some books, and then thought: WOW! I’d also want a chocolate factory! But I eventually realized, that it’s not possible. That’s why I invented something for people, that love to read Holy books. A bookmark, that simultaneously is an instruction manual. This is the bookmark. Very beautiful. You are reading the book and you think: Wow, that’s beautiful! It’s inspirational. I want to do something out of this book! First you check The Holy Bookmark. Look, that’s how it works.
Let’s imagine you are planning an attack there it says, I want to act in the name of my religion. ”Yes”, you want to do that. And then it says: ”I affect other people’s lives”. I think you do that. So yes. ”The other people agree”. No! I don’t think so. ”Don’t do it jackass!” And this always works!
Let’s quickly try another one. Imagine for example you want to collect some money with your church or mosque for food in Africa. ”I want to do something in the name of my religion”: ”Yes”.
I affect other people’s lives: ”Yes”
”The others agree”: I think so, they get food. Fine! Fine! Ok, quickly another one. I’m reading a Holy book, and think: I want to circumcise my daughter. ”I want to do something in the name of my religion”: ”Yes”.
”I affect other people’s lives”: Yes, my daughter’s.
”The others agree”: No, she’s a baby! ”Don’t do it Jackass!” It always works! Our Holy Bookmark is now available on our homepage: vpro.nl/zml So if everyone downloads the Bookmark and puts them in all the Holy books out there then I think all international terrorism is gone from earth within weeks. You bet! In the end it’s better for everyone, ”under whom the attacker”’.