Excuse me while I use my dog for white balancing. Good morning, Hank, it’s Thursday. Special surprise bonus video!
So Hank, for the first time since 2012 we are going on tour to celebrate the release of
Turtles All the Way Down and also because we need an excuse to spend a few weeks together. There will be music and laughter and joy and I’ll probably cry because I cry a lot. Q’s will be A-ed, surprises will be plentiful and news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon will be shared. So today, I thought I’d answer real questions from real nerdfighters about the tour beginning with: Q: Where are you going? A: Okay, there are 19 stops, and I’m gonna do this all in one take. (1) New York; (2) Washington, D.C.;
(3) Charlotte, North Carolina; (4) Asheville, North Carolina; (5) Atlanta, Georgia; (6) Orlando, Florida – where we will be playing
Hank’s High School Auditorium; (7) Nashville, Tennessee; (8) Cincinnati, Ohio; my hometown of (9) Indianapolis, Indiana; (10) St. Louis, Missouri; (11) Chicago, Illinois;
(12) Minneapolis; and then on to Hanks hometown of
(13) Missoula, Montana; from there to (14) Spokane, Washington
and then (15) Bellingham, Washington; and then (16) Portland, Oregon; and then two shows in the (17 & 18) San Francisco Bay Area and then down to (19!) Los Angeles and I did it! Who says that I’m over reliant on jump cuts? One other thing: sadly there will be no Hank at the shows in Asheville and Atlanta, but there will be special surprise guest Hanks playing the role of Hank and you will hardly know the difference. So, a few of you might remember that in 2012, we did not visit the Midwest and there was much consternation and I said at the time: (Younger John) so Midwest this is me hugging you saying, I’m sorry. We’ll be there next time. You will note that just six short years later, I am keeping that promise and this time I must say to the people of Texas and the American Southwest and also the people living in the vast nation of not America: I’m sorry, and we will try to visit you soon. Q: Why no love for [insert location here]? A: I love [insert location here].
I’ve always loved [insert location here]. [Insert personal anecdote] about [insert location here] to prove love for [insert location here]
and then [express regret]. Q: Are these shows gonna be spoiler free? A :Yes, when it comes to my books but there might be some Star Wars spoilers. Q: Is it weird if I come alone? A: No, lots of people will be coming alone. In fact there will be a special letter in the program just for people coming alone. But also you might find that you can make friends over at the tuatara discord or maybe even at the show. Q: How much for the tickets? A: So ticket prices have been set by the bookstores hosting the event so that they don’t lose money, so it depends on the city and the venue, but every ticket comes with a signed copy of Turtles All the Way Down and also some other goodies. Q: WIll there be a book signing? A: Right, so this is the bad news. Partly because of the size of the venues, but mostly because of my brain’s malfunctioning. There will not be a signing after the show. I’m really sorry about this and it’s something that I’ve struggled with a lot, but I- Yeah, it’s just something I have to do, so, I’m sorry. Q: Will you guys be singing together? A: Yeah, I’m also sorry about this the answer is probably yes, but only briefly. Q: Are you bringing turtles? A: Only metaphorical ones, but we’re bringing a lot of those- like an infinite set of them. There is a link in the doobly-doo below where you can get more info about each event and also tickets. I will try to be in comments answering your questions. I hope to see lots of you on tour, it’s gonna be an awesome time. and Hank, I cannot wait to traverse the country with you. I will see you on Friday.