Indecision (Decisions and Indecisiveness) – Teal Swan –

Indecision (Decisions and Indecisiveness) – Teal Swan –


Indecision
(How to make up your mind) Having difficulty making a decision or feeling unable to make a decision, is an acutely painful emotional state. The best way to describe it is
that it’s a state of uncertainty. it puts you in limbo. It’s a feeling of being frozen. Now the purpose of our lives is progression and expansion, so it’s easy to see how
if you’re in a state where you can’t make a decision, the entire course of your
life is put on hold. And the entire purpose of
your life is put on hold. So obviously there is going to be immense negative emotion
preset within your being. First things first, if we are experiencing
difficulty making decisions, especially if this is a chronic thing which we struggle with. Then, in our childhood
what we experienced, is one or both of two very
painful freeze states, I’ll explain; The first is an experience or many, where we felt like we couldn’t
win, no matter what we did. It’s the classic damned if you do,
damned if you don’t scenario. The second is an experience or many, where there was a high
degree of value placed on right or wrong,
success or failure, so we experienced
painful consequences as a result of making the choice, that our adult caregivers
thought was wrong. This created the fear of
making the wrong choice. So let’s just jump right into it; “What the hell should I do, if I’m
having a problem with indecision? 1. If we can’t make a decision, it’s because we fear the consequences of making the decision. So what we have to ask ourselves is: “What exactly is the consequence or the consequences
that I’m afraid of? In the western world,
when we feel stuck because we can’t make a decision
between two difficult states, we call this being stuck between
a rock and a hard place. So the question to ask
yourself is what is: “What is the rock and
what is the hard place?” “What bad thing will happen
if I make either decision?” “And what does this consequence
mean to me or mean about me?” 2. When you find out the consequence
that you’re afraid of, face those fears directly. You will find that your
fears of consequences, correlate directly to childhood wounds. What we have to do is to
gift these childhood wounds our unconditional presence. Instead of trying to escape from them, we have to go back
to the original trauma and to improve our vibration
about that original state. Let’s say your worst case
scenario is abandonment. If you can feel the
feeling of abandonment, be with the feeling of abandonment, and use the feeling to access
the memory of abandonment which is being triggered
by this scenario. to learn this process watch
my video in YouTube titled: How to Heal the Emotional Body. When we integrate these
childhood wounds, we will not feel the same way
towards what we’re afraid of. Potentially if you chronically
struggle to make decisions, you will even be
led to memories where you have suffered as a result
of making decisions as a child. Or memories where you’re
stuck in a lose-lose scenario. Also release resistance by allowing yourself to go
to the worst case scenario and then, incrementally soothe yourself by thinking thoughts
and doing things which cause you to feel better
about the worst case scenario. If you are able to soothe yourself into a space of feeling better
about the worst case scenarios, then your subconscious mind, your flight or fight mode, is not going to be spending
so much focus on the worst case scenario. You have more of your attention to orient toward something
that feels better. The more aware we are
of what we are afraid of, the more conscious we are. And the less power these
fears have over us. Find the beliefs you have about
these worse case scenarios as well. For example if I think a consequence of making a decision, might be: “I’ll lose my whole family.” Then I ask myself:
“Why would that be be so bad?” “What am I really afraid of about
this worst case scenario, and what it means?” The answer might be:
“If I lose my family, I’ll be all alone.” This is a belief I can work with. I can question the belief,
and change the belief. My favorite process for
questioning belief is offered by Byron Katie. It’s a process called: The Work And if you want
to change a belief, you can watch my
video on YouTube titled: How to Change a Belief The meaning you give something
controls how you feel. We have to be willing to alter
the meaning of an experience, if we want to feel
better about it. And how we feel
about something controls the decisions we
make about something or wether we make a decision at all. 3. Once we have done that, we can take a close look at
these worst case scenario, and ask ourselves the very
interesting question: what is this worst case scenario teaching me that I know that I want? when we have keen awareness
of something that is unwanted, and let’s face it, worst case
scenario, is unwanted, that gives us acute awareness of what it is that we want. And so what we’re
meant to do as creators, is to place our full attention
on the thing that is wanted, instead of the thing that is unwanted. But if I put my attention on what I want, the opportunities, the places, the people, and the things, and the decisions which are in alignment
with that thing that I want, will come into focus, and into clarity for me. If you are struggling to
figure out what you want, you can watch my video
on YouTube titled: How to Discover What You Want. 4. If we really can’t make a decision, we have to release resistance to the idea that we have to make a decision. And instead we need to
place our focus squarely on anything that causes us
to come into alignment. In layman’s terms, this means
we have to focus on anything that feels good. In the universal sense, the minute we know what we want, which can be conscious or subconscious, our higher self already becomes
the vibrational equivalent of that thing. We are then pulled towards it,
as if by a huge magnet. When we are focused on things
that cause us to feel bad, we’re turned in the
opposite direction of it. And when we are focused on things that cause us to feel good, we are turned in the direction of it. So, if we focus upon anything that causes us
to feel good about any subject, we’re allowing ourselves to
flow towards what is wanted, and the opportunities, and people, and circumstances that are
a match to what we want, come into manifested reality. It is very easy to then feel clear about the decision
we need to make. The decisions made from
a space of feeling good are always the right decisions
for you personally. The actions taken from
a place of feeling good are always the right actions to take. When it comes to making a decision, unless the inspiration is so strong, that you couldn’t be kept back
from making that decision, or taking that action, you probably aren’t ready
to make the decision or take the action yet. So instead I want you to just
continue to focus positively. It would be best if you could focus
positively towards what you want, But focus positively towards anything, until you get to that point where the inspiration quite
literally is undeniable. So how does this look practically? Let’s say that you have to decide whether to end a relationship or not. But you just can’t decide. It seems like pain either way. You face and release resistance
to the potential consequences of both staying in, and of
ending the relationship, by revisiting and integrating the wounds that are being triggered,
from your childhood, and you soothe yourself
into feeling better about the potential consequences, and question and change your
thoughts about those consequences. You then focusing on what the scenario is causing you to know that you want. So let’s say it causing you to know
that you want to know yourself and what you want, so clearly, that you are confident of
what decisions to make. Perhaps causing you to
know that you want a partner that you are
sure you want to be with, because the relationship feels
supportive, and safe, and consistent. You visualize what already
having those things in your life would look like, or feel like. You think about why
you want those things, you deliberately choose thoughts
and things to focus on, that make you believe
it is possible for you. You look for ways you already
do have those things that you think you lack,
in your life, already. Or if it’s too hard to
focus on what you want, you focus on anything
general that feels good, like gratitude lists,
or funny movies, or exercise, or inspirational speeches, and what you will
find is that eventually with enough alignment, the decision
will become clear to you. You may find that when
you’re in alignment, and thus feeling good,
you know that best choice is to end your relationship. And instead of feeling
terrifying, it feels right. Then you might feel the
impulse to call your partner and ask to meet up, so you
can end the relationship. In other words, your inspired
action, or inspired decision, will become clear to you. And it will be the decision that will bring you to the doorstep
of what you really want. And then, instead of trying
to go find the opportunities and circumstances and people who you think will fulfill your desires, they will come to you. And all you’ll have to do
is to say yes or no it. But because you’re
already in alignment, the saying yes or saying
no to the opportunities, will be an easy choice. Or as we say in America: “A no brainer.” If we are in alignment,
and feeling good, the decisions we need to make, come to us with no effort. That sums up the way we were
meant to make decisions or intended to make decisions,
before we came into this life, and decided that making decisions
was absolutely terrifying. But I’m going to give
you some more tips that will also help with your
decision making process, or with struggling with indecision. 1. You need to understand
that NOT making a decision is in fact, a decision to not decide. It takes you squarely out of
the drivers seat of your life, and places you in the back seat. If you decide to not make a decision, than a decision will be made for you, by the universe or by life itself or by the people around you. You can’t put a pause button on life. The river of life never stops flowing, and time is not going to hold still. And so you will be led by this
universe, towards your highest good, whether you have active
participation in it or not. The problem is, often when we don’t
actively participate in decisions, we get led to more reasons why we should have
an active participation in decisions that we make. You have to ask yourself: “Is it serving me to be
in the back seat of life and let the universe or other people
decide my life for me right now?” “Or does it not serve me?” But we have to be really
honest with ourselves when we ask ourselves this question, because what we might find, is that it absolutely is self loving. It absolutely is the best thing for us to be in the back seat of life, because we are practicing
a state of allowing. However, sometimes it is absolutely
the opposite of good for us, to sit in the back seat of life and to let life take us
where it wants to go, because it’s self sabotage. So be willing to be honest about whether your decision
to not make decision, is self loving or is self sabotage. 2. No matter what decision you make, you can always make
a different decision. You are living in a universe
is that is based on free will. What free will means, is choice. It means that even if you
make certain decision today, you can change your mind tomorrow. And you can go in a
radically new direction. This will help you to release
some of the resistance to the idea that, I am going
to be locked in and trapped by making a decision that may
not really feel good in the long run. You have the ability to choose again, and the beauty of choice is
that every choice we make, brings us closer and
closer to the awareness of not only of who we really are, but of what we truly want. And to create the life we want, we first have to know
what we want. 3. You can’t get this life wrong. So many of us that are down
here in the rat race of life, are constantly chasing after this idea, that there’s some state
of perfection that exists, that we have to line up
with or match up to. It doesn’t exist. You can’t get it wrong, so you can’t really
make a bad choice, because even if you make
a choice that you decide is not ultimately good for you,
it’s just giving you more clarity, and thus, the universe
more expansion. The universe has not
decided what is right and what is wrong for you. Free will is about your ability
to choose and know what is right for you personally
and not anyone else. So you ultimately can’t
make a wrong decision. 4. Take a serious look at your addiction, to being right and being good. If you have a difficulty with indecision, then you are addicted to
the idea of rightness, and you are addicted
to the idea of goodness. So ask yourself: “What is it that I’m getting out
of being right or being good?” You need to look at
the universal truth that there is no right or wrong, because right or wrong
is a matter of perspective. Right and wrong is born
out of cultural relativism. Don’t believe me? Look at the world today. If you lived with an Eskimo culture, you would believe that
there is nothing wrong with killing your infant if you
couldn’t reasonably support it. If you lived in American
culture you’d believe someone who killed their infant
should go to jail for murder. Your definition of right and
wrong depends upon the society and family
you were raised in. I certainly hope they were right. And if you are searching
for a universal truth to teach you what is
right versus wrong, good luck! Because the universal truth
is there is no right or wrong. All that exists is you,
as an individual, knowing what is technically right, and thus feels the best
for you specifically. Even if you just took any action
and made any decision, that would be progression
and movement and would give you more information
about what is right for you and what you want. 5. The thing that we may
hate about indecision, is in fact uncertainty. Sometimes when we feel
the need to make a decision so strongly, that we begin
to resist indecision itself, and feel the desperate
urge to make a decision, we hold ourselves in
a place of indecision, because, whatever we resist, persist. When this is the case, we have to take the complete
opposite approach to indecision, and become OK with indecision. For this reason, I want you to
watch my video on YouTube titled: How To Deal With Uncertainty Then I want you to get
way outside the box, and I want you to think about why it is okay to not make a decision. How it might be a good thing
to not make a decision. As what is unwanted,
and to the opposite of that, what is wanted, comes more into clarity throughout the course of your life, momentum will be building
on the side of your desires. You will be pulled in
the direction of that. more and more, until it becomes too uncomfortable
to stay in the place that you are in, and the decision that will be made
for you, will be fairly easy. So if you have extreme resistance to the fact that you can’t
make a decision right now, and you really, really need to, repeat after me: “I’ll know when I know.” 6. make your practice in life, whether you’re spiritual or not, the practice of increasing
your self esteem, your self concept. If we have high levels of self esteem, of self worth, and of self love, making decisions that are right for us, becomes very easy. To the contrary, if we
don’t have these things, it becomes very difficult, because we have to get those
things through other people. So our first priority is to figure out how
to get the reaction we want out of them. Do you know how difficult
it is to make a decision, that is right for you,
if you’re factoring in, the reaction you want to
get from other people? If you struggle with self worth watch my videos on YouTube titled: How To Overcome Shame, How To Develop Healthy Boundaries, and: How Do I Discover Self Worth? 7. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. What you will find is that when we have
to make a decision, we almost always already
know the answer. It’s just we don’t have
all the confidence yet, to act on that particular decision that we already know the answer to. Your Intuition will not compete
for air time with your ego, which is ruled by fear. So, it will often be the stable,
solid, subtle knowing that it’s always there nagging at you. The more you live according
to your intuition, the louder your intuition will become. Your logical mind is ruled
by a limited perspective, whereas your intuition is ruled
by an objective perspective. Analysing your choices
often paralyzes you, instead of helps you
to make decisions. And often no matter how
much information you have, making a decision does
not become any easier. No matter what, your intuition will never lead
you in the wrong direction, but there should be a
little bit of a caution flag, when we say that,
that your intuition and your gut feeling will never
lead you in the wrong direction, and this is why: your soul, upon coming into this earth, had absolutely no
plan to avoid pain. Because it knew that pain was
one of the greatest teachers. And so, it is common, that when you follow your intuition, you are led in the direction
of your highest good. But to get to that highest good,
you may have to face some of your greatest difficulties. Your soul’s prerogative is not
to keep you comfortable. It is to take you to what you want, thought the quickest route possible. In other words, it will provide you
with most expansion and growth, sometimes this will feel amazing, sometimes this will feel like pain. So ask yourself: “Is my goal to avoid pain, or it is my goal to experience the things that I’m wanting?” Because they are very different things. If you struggle with intuition, then you struggle with self trust. For this reason, I want you to watch my
video on youtube titled: How to Trust Yourself 8. This suggestion might seem fairly odd, but it works; Flip a coin. What happens when
you flip a coin is, either you are sitting in the
back seat of your life, and letting the universe
decide for you, and then you are going
forward with that choice and gaining knowledge
about what is wanted, or else, as you flip that coin, you will discover what
you really wanted, then you can make that decision. It becomes easier. You can flow in the direction
of what you really did want, but just didn’t have
the guts to say. After having outlined
all of my suggestions about dealing with indecision. I couldn’t fail to mention the fact, that when we feel as if we’re
stuck between two things, both of which we
don’t like the look of, our perspective is often
being completely limited. When there is always a third option. So when you feel faced
with that difficult decision, when you’re stuck between
a rock and a hard place, I want you to look for this third option, make that a new practice. I’ll give you a hint, that most often, the
third option is a blend of the best of both choices. When you definitively make a decision based on what is in
alignment for you, instead of going back on
that decision or doubting it, I want you to line up
with that decision 100%. Find supporting evidence as
to why it is a good decision. Focus on the positives of making
that particular decision, and you will experience yourself, flowing in the direction
of your own expansion. Coming into the next phase of
what you really, really want. Instead of holding yourself apart from going in the direction
of your own expansion. And so, at the end of this episode, I want you to understand something, which I have said several times, but I will say it again; You cannot make a wrong choice. Have a good week Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte &
The Youtube Community Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Fear and childhood wounds are not only causes of indecisiveness. Also, impaired executive functions (as in mild ADHD) can be the cause.

  2. Free will does not exist. Free will is the basic Illusion besides the Illusion that "you" are a seperate self. There is only oneness appearing as everything.

  3. One can't really identify abandonment or any other childhood wound themselves because it becomes part of their identity. We must learn awareness, this is untapped.

  4. thank you teal. ive felt very lost, but binge watching your videos has awakened me to why I feel lost. its made me aware of the grips of abuse from my parents and especially my mom. Ive been following the traditional route of getting a degree but now I know that my real dream is to travel the world alone (maybe with a spouse one day! hehe). I still want school but not in the way first planned. I was going to be an art therapist… and I still will be but in form of my own business rather than working under a boss/industry. having so many pangs of clarity mixed with the fear of the immensity of these decisions. I know its my solid choices but it requires planning and for me to sit with it before I go telling too many people yet!

  5. Your intellectual and spiritual wisdom is a practical miracle for as all! Thank you! I choose and you look gorgeous

  6. Hi, that was immensly helpful. May I ask what have you studied. I read at your channel that you are a spiritual coach. Im very interested, can you tell me how you got there?
    BTW, you look astonishing!

  7. This is just so useful for me right now, as always an excellent class, thank you Teal, you are the best therapist I have ever known.

  8. Thank you so much Teal, i was so trapped in my fear to make a decision. But now i somehow see solutions i never thought existed.

  9. I always feel like crying after watching her videos, they just seem to hold my heart safe for a brief moment amidst all the confusion in my head. Thank you Teal.

  10. right and wrong is different from conditioned right and wrong which is social acceptance aka pleasure-pain conditioning aka shame vs approval. Like in rome it was ok to watch slaves fight each other to the death as fun it was accepted aka ok whereas it was morally wrong.

  11. God, Teal, I love you. I'll never thank you enough for literally dragging me out of this hopeless state in my life…

  12. About to watch it, this video appeared on my home page put of nowhere in a moment of life where I'm very indecisive. I'm very excited 🙂

  13. 3 glaring mistakes in the word feed – what Teal is saying. WHO is typing this stuff – around 19 minutes (and some before) – changes the whole context – eg. Teal says intuition – typist puts 'situation' — its shabby

  14. When I was 6 years and after weeks not seeing my ill mother, they (family) took me to the place where her dead and cold body was exposed, so the loved ones could say good bye to her.
    I was standing there at a distance of maybe 4 meters totally frozen. It was in fact a loose-loose situation, because running away, which I really wanted to, woudn´t help and going to her body, woudn´t either. So I was in a trap. And Indecision, like not knowing which way to go has been a reality in my daily life since then.
    So my solution has been: ok, either way is fine for me………

  15. Wow uve never even met me but u know my upbringing. Your amazing I've decided to listen to you extremely intelligent

  16. Yes yes yes.. Positive messages! I will try more with mother to bring her to realization of her free will. How she will be free in death as much as she will be free in life.

  17. I just watched one of your videos today and honestly before today I would have liked to have listened to you but because you used cat calling and the five levels of emotions it brought some PTSD in me like no other now my life is in turmoil what the FTD due to anybody out there listening you stated that a guy cat calls on a girl in front of his wife and she should go through the five levels of emotions and eventually say I'm sorry it was me could you babysit the kids and I'll go to the gym I'm sorry it was all me really you f**** fake

  18. Letting go is spirituality. If you want it, let it go. In the future the only business done will not be seeking or anything else. It is a unique time we are in.

  19. I just realised that asking my mum or dad and even my sister for advice about a situation or a decision or choice was the ONLY WAY I could show them who I was. It was the only way I could get them to be interested in me and get them to give me any of their energy at all. They were incredibly neglectful parents, that didnt talk to me about my interests, they didnt care, they treated parenting like a task to be done instead of treating their child as if they loved it and were genuinley interested in the future choices and life and interests of that child and personality

  20. 9:50 Please come to me. I got a bad knee and a broken transmission!!! Teal, thank you for giving a shout out to Byron Katie! I love her sooo much. Her teachings are truly the best and clear cut that I've ever heard. If I could just hug Teal and B.K., omg I want to hug them and tell them how much they help me stay alive….😢💜💚😚

  21. Some decisions are irrevocable and end in death of loved ones or self. Maybe make one of these videos addressing that

  22. How the hell can we trust ourselves if we want happiness and our ‘higher self’ wants to run us through hell?

  23. not being able to pay rent and become homeless or loss the last chance to see my grandma before she passes

  24. Teal Swal and Infinity Waters are always on Point ! These 2+ Sadhgu, is my alignment for inspiration, understanding and spiritual guidance.🙏

  25. Watch this video that is 20 minutes long about telling you to watch like ten other videos about watching more videos. No thanks

  26. U have saved me! Brought me back to life. Provided me with the know and understanding of self and others. Holding on to unconscious shame and guilt, the unfulfilled need to b a hero. Understanding there is no wrong decision. All my decisions are based on the reaction of someone else, always have been. And fear of making the wrong decision. That has made me practically paralyzed. This video alone could save soooooooo many people. Our world is really full of control freaks. Me, I really don't care what other people do, or where they go at all. Doesn't really affect me so I think that's their right and their choice. Lol thank you for U

  27. <3 <3 <3 Thank you so much. I had to stop this video several times to digest what I was hearing before unpausing it again. Very, very direct to my experience and difficult at many points for me to feel. "The best of the two options"

  28. Great video! I just don't understand where you say not to fear making a decision as you can change it the next day – this isn't always the case. That's why decisions can be so hard to make!

  29. A psychiatrist asked a man “Have you ever had a problem making decisions?” “I’m not sure,” the man replied.

  30. Thank you so much Teal💕. I have been so undecided on which major and career choice I should make, and where to move. Writing down my fears and really breaking them down is so simple, but really helpful.

  31. Lol I just saw your comments on an anxiety page thought I’d check you out and boom, haha one of my most recent questions is why the hell am I so indecisive….and why do you have mike Tyson videos ? Ha (massive fan of his life story and mentor)anyway I’m gonna watch the video now….

  32. If there is no good or bad, then why do you do your "Light Working" if you don't believe it's for the general good of all? Because there is no such thing as good or bad, is it?

  33. I had to concentrate while watching this video,that was very helpful, because boy: isn't she beautiful and smart? I had to decide about whether mentioning it or not. So, I did. flipped a coin.

  34. You’re videos are changing my life each day! Thank you so much, please never stop making these videos.

  35. i've watched your videos when i was younger
    by sheer coincidence or chance…
    i stumbled upon this video when searching for something else
    at a time i need it the absolute most.

    i think this is the universe telling me i need to get back on track soon
    and telling me that i have been in the backseat for long enough

  36. The decisions aren't about a right or wrong issue..it is about whether it's a sound decision to make. It's not set in stone for the most part. You just need to check whether or not you should stick with it or not

  37. I have to decide between med school and going to the US to study Psychology. Actually, I want to live in the US, but I also want to study medicine. So the consequence would be waiting up to 10 years until I am finished completely med school and then move to the US, or doing my Psychology degree, then decide from there on if I still want to go to med school, and if do, in the end I lost 4 years because I didn't pursue med school right away. Mhm, I don't know how to decide. It freaks me out since days.

  38. Teal this was beyond beautiful and by that i mean absolutely helpful for me. It's very rare that i make a decision all on my own. I usually ask others or am very conflicted which does nothing but take more time away. So stagnation has been my best friend or thngs that were not for my highest good lasted much longer than anticipated with the same lesson learned over and over in the same exact situation. Relying on myself to make my own decisions by using the tools you put out here also gives me confidence in myself and makes it so i dont have to rely on others or act in a way which will ultimatley be living the decision of someone else even if that decision isn't at all what my heart truly needed. Things are starting to make some sense. 🙂 thanks teacher.

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