S2 E39: How the F do you figure out what you want so you can choose it?!

S2 E39: How the F do you figure out what you want so you can choose it?!


Hey everybody, I Did not send an email about this episode. I did not invite you to this episode because I’m slacking I’m on a road trip and I’ve been in Portland and clearly still in my bathroom, but welcome to the crystal crawford show This is episode 39. I got a really really Poignant message from somebody that is playing in the awareness challenge group, which you can go play in if you want to hey I did not give you a heads up about this show um, and she’s been using what I’m what I’ve called the core awareness challenge in there for 30 days and it’s epic if You haven’t checked it out yet. You can go to the awareness challenge calm and just download it. It’s free And I stole it from Gary Douglas because it’s epic. I Can’t see you. So no I can’t hi Paulo um, so the clearing goes like this and what would it take for me to be willing for to live the energy of what I’d like my life to be so that it can show up for me in totality and everything that doesn’t allow it and All the thoughts feelings and emotions and no sex that I’m using to Absolutely refuse and reject my life and the energy I’d like my life to be I destroy it and create it All right, Ron good about pipe all nine shorts boys and beyonds If you’re new to access that sounds a little weird at the end But that’s the clearing statement and it just works It works like a bulldozer to like shove out of the way all the energetic limitations that you’ve made more real Than your ability to choose so anyway So if you do this 30 times a day for 30 days Your whole life will fucking change now Having said that it just got a message from somebody who just did it for 30 days and here’s what she wrote I know I want to read this to you guys because I think this is a relevant conversation for a lot of us So she goes hi crystal. I’m 30 years old now, and I’ve known access for about five years, but I’ve always been into like metaphysical things like the law of attraction EFT and a lot more. Good morning Um, the thing is that I feel like I get nowhere in my life, and I don’t really know what to do I’ve been doing your core challenge for a month, but I I still don’t know what to do with my life. I Just tried to look up for some inspiration on YouTube but I ended up crying and I’m still crying because everyone is saying things like you have to know what you want and It’s my problem in the first place. So I’ve decided to write to you because in your court challenge you’ve talked about this so I thought you might understand my situation better and Is there any exercise question clearing or whatever you could recommend me? I’m sorry I know you don’t know me, but I’m just feeling so lost and I don’t know what to do Thank you so much for taking the time to read this And I’m so grateful when you guys send me these messages cuz it gives me such a sense of where I mean, you know I’m in my world all the time So I sometimes think my everything that’s going on for me is relevant to you But you guys have your own things going on. I Jeremy hi Bobby John. Hi, Susan So, um, so I wanted to talk about this. Does anybody else by a show of hearts or just energetic raised hands? Hi Kimberly Struggle with not knowing what to do And I’m not gonna wait for your hearts cuz I already know you do So this is the thing that I wanted to talk about like How what do you how do you know what to do when you don’t feel like you’re clear on what to do? There’s so many there’s up. There’s a there’s a few different facets to this So I’m just gonna be a TD and just kind of jump all over it. But the first thing that came to my mind when I was reading this is that with any situation like Let’s say you’re doing this clearing and you that you’ve got all these energies going on in your body But you still don’t know what to do with any situation That or anything else you always have more than one choice You can be really upset about it. Or you can be really excited about it And one of the things that I noticed that I did in my life forever Was with everything that felt like it should be different or I should know I always went to angst and sadness. That was my first default choice with sadness and I don’t know the day that it hit me that I could choose happiness instead Like I could actually choose to be excited about something I think it was the day that I started hanging around my friend Stephanie Richardson a little bit more because she’s She’s fucking excited about everything. She gets excited about finding limitations. She gets excited about finding points of view She gets excited about finding places like all the things you think you shouldn’t be excited about she gets excited about it And it was it was that’s the gift so we get to all be for each other is because we’re all so different and how we React to things or choose with things, you know, and I remember actually having this moment where I was like wow That’s amazing that you’re excited about that. I woke up this morning and felt limited and I was like upset my Karuna. Um, so that’s the first thing I want to point out, is that you Always have more than one choice with anything that’s going on And if your default choice is upset and sadness you may just want to look at that because that could be creating your life Another possibility with like holy shit I don’t know. What I want to do could be like this enthusiasm for discovering what that is Now I had to look at this for myself because there turned out there was a lot of unwillingness to be Enthusiastic about not knowing I was not willing to be enthusiastic. I really really really really really wanted to be upset about that Um, and so you just get to be present with that of like, oh I’m she’s gonna be upset about this Well, what would it be like if? Discovering what I wanted to to do and create with my life was an adventure What would that even be like is a great first question? So that’s thing number one that I wanted to put in there thing number two There’s a lie, I had a session the other morning with a lady that’s like well I I’m not clear on what it is I want to do and She says it’s a lot. We we would get into these conversations often We have a series of sessions that we do together and I said is it is it that you’re not clear or is it that you’re trying to get something right and This is again something I noticed with myself I would hear myself saying well, I’m just not clear on what I what to choose on what to choose Not clear So in those situations, it’s never that I’m not clear It’s that I don’t know what the right choice is to get me where it is. I think I want to go Well, here’s the beers the bitch of it and the joy of it simultaneously there is no right it doesn’t exist it literally Doesn’t exist. Hi Karina. I’m so glad you guys um, it doesn’t make sense. Right doesn’t exist wrong doesn’t exist It’s all made up now working that through your life and the way you function in the world It takes a minute because we are so used to functioning from right and wrong even especially unconsciously so I don’t know what to do with my life is is always the lie that you’re using to just not choose always 100 percent of the time and That’s not wrong. That just is and there’s nothing that’s wrong. That’s not wrong and choosing. It’s not nothing’s wrong, right? So so then I saw my question would be like is there anywhere in your world that you’re trying to get the creation of your? Life, right yes or no. I Bet you a thousand percent of the time. It’s yes, but ask yourself that question Is there any where I’m trying to get this right? Yes or no? Yes. What if there was no, right? What if there was only choice now in the very beginning of this creating my life conversation? Which turns out is the whole conversation the only conversation That is the conversation umm, I Let infinite choice be overwhelming. I was like, oh, it’s just so overwhelming. There’s just so many choices. How do you know what to choose? We you don’t cuz you can just choose anything and in any moment You can choose to have sex you can choose to not have sex. You can choose to eat ice cream You can choose the it not eat ice cream. You can choose to take another step You cannot choose to take another step we talked about in the 10 keys to total freedom. Hi, Julie. Hi Ashley Choice in every 10 seconds and there’s a lot of people that bastardize this key and I’ve done it too but choice in every 10 Seconds. It’s being so present in your life Like you’re just choosing and choosing and choosing and choosing and choosing every single choice you make creates It creates an energy. It creates possibilities. It creates new things in the world that you then get to actualize every choice So you’re either always destroying you or creating you because you’re an obsessive compulsive creator. You’re constantly creating There’s no time or moment when you’re not creating. So what are you creating? It becomes the the pertinent conversation What do I want to create today? But not from the place of conclusion, which is really where a lot of us ask these questions from high Nydia What’s the conclusion that’s true for me so that I know what to do is Really what we’re secretly crying out for. Why would we cry out for that? I? Mean I had to look at this for myself, why is that the thing that I think I need and I want to point out that is it is that I think I need it. Not that it’s actually required Not that it even works. Not that I would even do it if I knew it Just I think I need it to be able to do This right? you know when you start to fill in the words to the energy your being with this it starts to be like oh I think I need to be right That’s it. That’s really the words that show up So that’s okay. That’s really great information of like, oh, I’m really trying hard. Hi Claire. Hi Anna to be right here. That’s Shit okay cool. So I’m gonna add piece number three to this where I was I don’t know even though when six months ago eight months ago I was sitting on my friend Stephanie Richardson’s couch and we were just hanging out all day like we do sometimes and chit-chatting about all the things Um and I remember the moment where ice I don’t we must have been talking in and around this topic. I was on a couch Hey Marion. Hey Paul, um on her couch down in the basement and I sat bolt I was laying down and I sat bolt upright and I was like Holy shit, there is no purpose Now y’all I grew up. I me didn’t I didn’t grow up a Christian I grew up very religious and in an every religion Religion is kind of purpose-based. Right? Like the purpose of any religion is to do a thing, right and So I did that until I was 16 and then I got saved and I was an evangelical Christian for like 15 years and it was in my Evangelical Christian days that I was introduced to like the book called The Purpose Driven Life The Purpose Driven Life You know and you’ll hear people talking about like choosing something to do with your life that has meaning that’s authentic right? Thank you and I bought into all that stuff cuz I mean that stuff sounds good like that sounds right Riteish, you know righteous like that stuff sounds like Instead of like going around stabbing people in the eye. You’re saving people, right? That sounds like you’re doing good stuff in the world, and I wanted to do good stuff in the world Hi Martha, the the conversation that I was never introduced to was that I am something Amazing in the world. I’m not even gonna use the word good. I am already that in the world. So pretty much anything I put my hand to is gonna have that energy to it any conversation I get into any tip that I leave any trip that I take any anything I do is gonna be Infused with me. I’m the gift so Okay, that’s interesting. So piece number four. So if I didn’t have to if purpose is made up Then my search for purpose is actually miss identified and miss applied That creative energy that you got the book as a birthday present. Yeah. Yeah. It was like hi Simon The part of the Purpose Driven Life was like the epoch of like how you were supposed to live You’re supposed to find your purpose and then you’re supposed to live it. Why? So that you can do what you came here to do on the planet Which sounds fucking romantic, I mean that is the stuff of which every Romantic song and movie is made of right like oh my god I finally found my place in the world as if you could have one place as If an infinite being could have one purpose in one place and not be like jack of all trades master of none right and so all of it was an effort to like limit our choices so that We could find the choices that were the choices for us So my first invitation to you, it would be like everything that is everywhere. You created purpose everywhere You’ve bought into purpose, you know You don’t have to choose this if you don’t want to but if you want to would you destroy and uncreate it? Right wrong. Good bad pod. POC all 9 shorts boys and beyonds and again If you guys are new to access that’s the clearing statement go to the clearing statement comm and you can find out all about that shit, um So, so anyway so back to this moment when I’m on Stephanie’s couch and I like bolt upright I’m like, oh my god. There’s no purpose and in that moment You know how you have these epiphanies that start to unravel your whole fucking life. You know, you’re like all these pieces just like the like The Truman Show where he’s been living in this bubble and all of a sudden the bubble flies off and you’re like holy fuck I can see I was having one of those and I was like if there is no purpose then I Can literally just choose anything I can choose to start a 99-cent porn site video? I can just do a live feed with that. If I want to I could I could start a church I could I mean I mean I could just like spend the whole rest of the show coming up with ideas because anything would go if there’s no purpose anything goes So what happens after that then the conversation with your self starts to change Because he was like, okay, so if anything goes what would I really like to create and what I noticed was number one? I’d really hadn’t asked myself that question and number two. I had not been willing to just fucking shoes. I Hadn’t been willing No purpose isn’t a destructor implant is just a lie It’s just a line There’s 24 distractor implants if you guys don’t know anything about those and you can go I’m so glad you’re coming to Foundation Teresa holy fuck Yeah, no 24 distractor implants you can go look at them But you know what Sasha it’s probably included in one of the distractor implants like one of the destructor implants is living and life Why is life a distractor implant? Why is living a distractor implant because we’ve decided that in order to have a life or to be living? It has to look like something it has to mean something. It has to be authentic So then you have to go searching for those judgements. You have to go searching for the things that match those judgements Thank You, Jamie instead of searching for the energies and the Choices and choosing the choices that match the energies you go searching for something that doesn’t exist And then you get to be frustrated and then you get to separate and judge and reject you this bullshit for me anymore I’m like I’m not willing to do that anymore What I am willing to do now, which is new is is literally just go well I don’t know what this looks like because like right now I’m doing an energy pull class and I am gonna do a poll with you guys at the end of Because this is what this is the point of this whole thing So we’re doing 30 no, 30 60 or 90 days of energy poles and if you still want to come plates registrations open but this is the point of this class is to start getting a sense of Like what would it even be like to wake up in the morning and get a letter in the mail? Where your income just Ten times what would the sense of that be like? You so you start creating and choosing to generate the energies of what you would like your life to be like Instead of searching for the thing. You think you need to have the life you think you want? It’s a completely other conversation. They’re not even in the same universe So, what are you spending your creative energy looking for that you are the source of That if you would be willing to be the source of it would generate and create it and actualize it in the world What have you decided is outside of you? that you are that if you would let yourself be it and use your creative energetic capacities to Actualize it would actualize it in the world Everything that you are aware of does not have a reference point in this reality. It doesn’t exist. I Remember the moment when I used to have this thing, I have a thing for bookstores. I love bookstores From when I was a kid Really little all the way up to now and I used to say back in the day They didn’t have coffee shops and bookstores but so we would walk into the bookstore and I was like Oh my god, if they had beds in the back and they had food in these coffee stores I would just hive as the hi Suzanne, I would just live and he goes, you know Well now they’ve got Starbucks and you could live in them No beds in the back though. I don’t know what that’s all about. Hi, Sandy. So my thing with bookstores forever was bookstores were kind of like my Neverland like I would just let myself roam through them and every time I walked into a bookstore or an airport, I Would my the game was let my feet take me to whatever Section I got I went to what I was doing was following the energy But I didn’t know that then so I would literally just walk to whatever section in the bookstore I my body took me and I would let my hand roam over the shelves and I would pick wherever my hand landed and I would buy that book and Every single time I let myself do that. I would end up with a book that just changed my life in some way. And so Why was I telling you this this book starts story is so good. Oh Fuck I don’t remember. Well, here’s one of them one of the times that I did this. I ended up buying a book called I don’t even know what it was called. No something like the Something about genius bobble in a red cover black lettering was something about genius and this lady was writing about having a tribe And at the time I was really really frustrated with what was showing up in my life Like I didn’t know how to get myself to whatever was next. I couldn’t even like I Didn’t have even the energy poles. I didn’t have access consciousness tools. I didn’t have any of this so I was like but I knew I fucking knew that you know that itch that you have inside of you or you’re like I just know there’s something else. What is it? Went to the bookstore found this book. We opened it She was talking about having a tribe and I you know One of the things she talked about was like in your tribe you want to have like all these different kinds of people right, not just one kind of person and so I looked around at my current tribe and I was like I’ve got one kind of person in my tribe and that’s the person that needs me I’m the leader. They need me. That’s my tribe. You’re welcome. And that was what was bugging me I was like, where’s the people for me? Like? How does that work? How do you even you know, I didn’t have family I didn’t have parents. I didn’t have any of that So I was like I get to be the guy and that’s the end the end, you know so just so I’m so I’m reading about tribe and like all these different kinds of people I shed and I Was like I didn’t even know that you could ask for things I didn’t have any of this as cognitive skills, right, but I was like that Like that, what would it take to have like all these different kinds of people? what would it take to even have a tribe right like not a like a one-leg but like a Multi-legged organism as a tribe. Like what would that be like? So anyway, so I was working at a garden center at the time if this is a funny story not that funny Actually, I was working for 14 bucks and or in the small town garden center. I was shoveling mulch and and you know dishing out grass seed like you do and in walks that day there was like two days later or something crazy like in walks these two older ladies and They came in for grass seed and I was there helping them, you know get the grass seed. Well one of them I Don’t remember this part of it very much because she ended up coming back the next day one of them ended up being One of my greatest friends of all time and she walked in and I guess our eyes met and she was like her life changed In that moment and my life changed in that moment And then she left and that was it and she came back the next day and I was like, oh hi for mulch So anyway, we drive her truck around to the back of the garden center And I’m like shoveling mulch into her truck and we just start talking about all the things. This is pre access consciousness we started talking about wheat belly because I was really into nutrition at the time and she was starting to change her diet and we started talking about fibromyalgia, and my mom had fibromyalgia and she was this older lady that was just super brilliant and smart and witty and fun and and We just hit it off and I just had gotten into my world this information about creating a tribe So I did what I never do I? Because I was like if I want something to change I gotta be willing to choose something I haven’t chosen before and I’m ringing her up You know getting her money and I just looked at her and I was like I said, this is random I was like and I never do this, but Do you wanna go go have coffee sometime? And she said no I don’t do coffee And I was like, oh well first first choice out of the gate and I get rejected. It’s not a date. It’s not anything She’s no she doesn’t have coffee. Okay fine. So I finished right here up. She leaves Well the next day she came in to the garden center with a manila envelope of a copy of the book Printouts on fibromyalgia and wheat stuff and an index card that said I don’t do coffee but I do do email and I started a friendship that day with Maxine Hurley That changed the trajectory of my entire life She ended up being one of the biggest support systems for me changing my marriage becoming a facilitator and today we are still fast and furious friends and her life’s changed because of the bars and that is just one example of Following an energy hi patty and Karina Harleen following something thing You have no idea what it is how to get there what you’re even asking for and that’s the point of the energy poles That’s you know It’s doing this clearing of what would it take for me to be willing to live the energy of what I’d like my life to Be and then what is the energy of what I would like my life to be that’s why I’m doing the energy poles now Because ok. Great you did this clearing for 30 days. Now you’re willing now. What is it? And every single thing that You are asking for is something that you get to institute? It’s not something that will show up because you looked for that thing and it already exists Everything you are asking for doesn’t yet exist? Hi, she’ll be you are going to be creating it So you get the sense of it, so Then it’s so it’s doing that so let’s do that real quick and then I’ll let you guys go Let’s do that. Hi Alex, so I got this this energy pulling about to take you through I’ve been reading it lately out of a manual and Only just to start getting us into a different kind of Habit a different kind of choice of how you ask for things and so I’m gonna take you through this real quick so you can close your eyes right now if you want and I want you to get the energy of the way it would be to have your life and living the everything that you always hoped and knew it could be that you never knew you could ask for Now the moment I say that an energy comes up you don’t have to have any words to it in fact you won’t But get that energy get the energy of the way it would be if no Algorithms ran your life an algorithm is right or wrong good or bad like all of those points where you go into a computation Instead of just asking energetically. So what would your life be like if you never ever went to right or wrong again? Get the energy of you got this letter telling you the your income had just increased by a factor of 10 Notice the way it would be to have that ongoing And then to grow it from there Like what would it be like to create a sustainable financial future for you? What would it be like to have that as a position in your own life? Get the way it would be to do something you loved Whatever that was every day when you woke up like every day when you woke up, you’re like, oh my god I’m so excited to be awake, you know and stop trying to define what that is Stop trying to define what that is every single bit of ynx that you have about getting clear is you Trying to define what it is instead of getting the sense of what it is You’re gonna let the universe let this show up Get the way it would be to be so happy Like truly if you just if sadness wasn’t even a choice you made anymore like what would it be like to just have that deep? abiding sense of peace and ease and Happiness Get the energy of whatever it is. You do having huge amounts of enthusiasm to it And everybody else calls it work and you call it play Get the way it would be to do something that changed all the time and it was so fun and you knew it was a contribution to people something that allowed you to have the financial acumen and wherewithal and the time to be Able to travel and enjoy it and get the way it would be to have people in your life Who truly had your back that truly saw you in a way that you didn’t know you could be seen That supported you in a way. You didn’t even know you could be supported who didn’t require from you anything who receives the gift that you are as the being that you are as the Contribution that was such a gift to them Get the way it would be to have that not just be you alone but something that was in communion with the earth and communion with every person that exists and that was willing to have it and didn’t Have any other points of view and any need for trying to prove it to the people who aren’t willing to have it Oh In that relationship you can have that in there, too but even in that relationship it’s less of a relationship and more of a communion more of a conscious communion with someone that allows you to be more connected to everyone even though you think that’s impossible and Get the energy of you creating with the higher universe Not just one person, but it doesn’t exclude the one person And get the energy of however many people coming into your life that would actually contribute to the creation with more and more and more People instead of creating that insular universe all alone and now what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna pull energy into all of those energies from all over the universe and the way you do that is you just ask for it to pull pull and You just keep asking for more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more Until your heart opens up you get a little smile on your face Start to get turned on And then that little trickles go out to every single person that’s going to contribute to making those energies of reality Do that for 30 days Come with me if you want it to be guided but do that for 30 days do that for 90 days Don’t give up on that Every single thing that has showed up in my life every single thing every single person every single thing every single life change That I’ve ever tugged into my universe. I had no idea what it was No cognitive idea at all. I Didn’t even know I was that there was a thing Until I just kept but I kept pulling and I didn’t recognize that till recently Like I that it’s always been a capacity that I’ve had. You have to look at that for yourself Have you always pulled yourself to the next thing? have you always tugged into your world the next thing for what reason would you give up on you now and It will require you choosing to be something for yourself that maybe you haven’t chosen yet So I Hope that’s the contribution. I hope that can I hope that makes things more clear about what is not clear and I hope that also creates some clarity around what you’ve been doing with clarity and What I really hope is that you begin to choose to create in a different way and Be willing to be that different Is this different? Yeah So what does it work? Yeah, is it easier? Yeah What if all of life could come to you with ease and joy and glory? What if you never had to ever worry about doing anything, right and you could just choose this stuff? That’s fun and So now after these energy pulls then oh, it’s gonna be like, okay Well now what do I want to choose in this 10 seconds? And what do I want to choose in? This – then what am I choosing now? And you just start to choose coz now you’re gonna start to be those energies. You can receive what you’re being You can’t receive what you’re not being Alright have fun with that If you know some friends that would like this just share it with them because this is super public and I want them to have it and if you’d like to come play with Me and the energy poles just message me and I’ll get you the link for that. Alright Huge Big Love. I’m heading I’m hitting the road today. We’re going drive to Salt Lake City. I think 12 hours on the road So anyway, I’m gonna do that you guys have fun with this share it with your friends, and I will see you later

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  1. Loved this. Thankyou. I could relate to the "…Jack of all trades Master of None…" & I so loved your realisation about finding one's "Purpose" & especially the religious/spiritual perspective. Really helpful. Thankyou. ๐Ÿ™‚

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