S3 E22 What have you been trying to change forever?

S3 E22 What have you been trying to change forever?


Well, hey hey hey you guys Welcome to the crystal crawford show. I’m your host crystal Crawford and I am officially in Dubai. I am in a beautiful There’s a beauty I’m in a beautiful hotel in the middle of well right next to the airport actually in Dubai on My way to Perth Australia to facilitate some classes. It is 11:30 p.m. Here. Hi Krista. Hi, Jen And today I called today’s show and I caught today’s show what the hell did I call today’s show What have you been trying to change forever? That you feel like you can’t I didn’t really add I added that part at the end just now But what have you been trying to change just forever that feels like it just won’t change. Hi. Irelia. Hi Rita, and This this topic actually came out of me looking at a class I’m starting tomorrow called becoming a great facilitator of yourself. And tomorrow’s one call but the next week, I’m gonna invite you to a deep dive of 12 calls and and It’s more than a class it’s a Way of being with yourself that actually changes the things that you feel like you can’t change that you’ve been trying to change forever Thank you so much. You guys. Oh, um so anyway I I want to just dive right in because I put a post on Facebook and I asked you guys to help me and tell me the things that you felt like you couldn’t change and So I’ve got like literally thirty two of you responded so I’m not gonna go through all of them But I do want to get through some of them and I want to make this show intensely pragmatic for you So that you can take stuff away from this and actually use it to change things in your life. So things that feel like They can’t change. All right, so, hold on one second. Let me pull up my list. What have you been trying to change forever? Okay, so I got my first message. Hi guys the first message that I got every in response to my post was a lady named Gabrielle and she’s like Sorry, let me get my let me get my shit together two seconds here. I said would you help me and tell me about something you’ve been trying to change forever and Gabrielle said I would get the freedom from stupid greedy people. It’s a family member actually I would get the freedom from stupid greedy people and one of the first things that I asked her when she messaged me This is I said, what would freedom look like for you? I Signed up for one and I already want to sign up for all 12. How do I do that? Oh, if you already want to sign up for all 12, just go to crystal joy AFRICOM slash become great And if become great doesn’t work try becoming great. Let me just see her Becoming great crystal joy crawford calm becoming great. You can sign up for all 12 right there Okay, so she wants to get freedom from stupid greedy people and it’s a family member and I said well What would freedom look like to you? And she said well I can say anything without being afraid or I can tell them More to change to be more conscious so Using this thing to talk about how you become a great facilitator. Why would you become a great facilitator of yourself? Why would I do a class called that? because To have the change that you say that you want. You’ve got to be willing to be a great facilitator of yourself now what I mean by that is a great facilitator is present with no point of view a great facilitator Just listens to what comes out of your mouth listening for the energy of what? Might be limiting you they’re not really listening to your words. We’re listening to the energy. That is underneath your words Okay a great facilitator Doesn’t function from form structure or significance. It’s like you can say anything There’s no judgement a great facilitator is basically the ten keys in motion, right? So the ten keys to total freedom is oh is a book and a series of conversations by Gary Douglas. And dr Dain Heer and when as a as a facilitator, those are the keys that you use to facilitate Anything in a class? So, you know the first key is hey wouldn’t being truly chooses The second key is everything’s just an interesting point of view. The third key is I’m gonna get these out of order but you know, Choosing in every single ten seconds. You’ve got a new choice in every ten seconds The fourth key is live as the question. The fifth key is no form. No structure. No significance The sixth key is no judgment. No discernment. No discrimination of any kind the seventh key is no competition The eighth key is don’t listen to tell or buy the story The ninth key is no drugs of any kind and the tenth key is no exclusion now That’s great as a list. It’s great it’s all theory though until you begin to put it into practice in your own life and becoming a great facilitator of yourself is beginning to listen to what you’re saying and Practicing these keys in a way that really works. So how would we do that with Gabrielle’s thing? So Gabrielle’s saying she wants freedom from stupid greedy people Okay, she wants to be able to say anything without being afraid and actually as I was asking her about her thing That’s the thing that had energy. I want to be able to voice. What’s true for me without being afraid So, where do you start? When you’re changing this thing, the first thing you got to start with is listening to yourself I just said I just said hi Shana that I want to be able to say anything without being afraid So there’s already some underlying assumptions there, right? I’m already assuming that I can’t say anything without being afraid and I’m Assuming that I can’t say just anything and I’m assuming that they actually have more power than me Those are the things those underlying points of view no matter what your thing is are the things that are holding this Non-changing thing in place anytime you have something that’s not changing You have underlying hidden points of view that are holding it in place That’s fine. It’s fine our point of view creates our reality. So When you have a situation with another person and you want to be able to be you in front of and with another person the the question Whether you put it into words or not has become what would I have to be willing to do or be different? for this to change and That’s the question you’ve got to start to function from and as with anything you want to change it guys I thirty two of you wrote to me. So you take the thing that you wrote and apply this conversation to what you wrote what would I have to do or be different for this to change and really sit with that question now questions aren’t meant to get an answer to questions are there for you to get an awareness of what would I have to do or be that’s different and What I see over and over even in my own life when I’ve got something that is Not changing that. I think I want to change and I you know Gosh, you guys have heard me do so many different shows on money getting out of debt and all of that I didn’t really start fully changing fully full-on with all the things changing my entire finance spectrum until Till we started doing this new awareness challenge I’ll answer that question Kitty the so if you’re not in the awareness challenge It’s a Facebook group on on Facebook and it’s free and you can come and we play with one tool for 30 days 30 times a day for 30 days That’s basically the gist of the group with a few variations for fun. So So what that does is when you play with a tool like that Which means you just ask a question and you clear the unconsciousness and you ask a question and you clear the unconsciousness You’re literally shaving off unconsciousness in that area And we’ve been shaving off on consciousness on being a generator of continuous money wealth and abundance So that change that we’re creating is never as none is not going to show up in any particular way It’s just gonna show up. There’s going to be change you’re gonna change the space that you are with money wealth and abundance um, I Don’t want to lose my point and I can feel myself losing my point. So So what my point was that you guys have heard me talk about How there’s been this? particular area or particular things with my finances where I just haven’t changed it and I’ve I’ve had this I haven’t I’m not changing it and I think I should be changing it simultaneously going on for years Probably a lot of years and that’s what I saw in a lot of what you guys were talking about I can’t seem to change my weight. I can’t seem to change my debt I can’t seem to change this dynamic with this person, right? All of these are things that have probably been going on for eons in some way energetically So then so what’s so what’s required then to to begin change in these areas, right? Are they just stuck forever and you just have to judge yourself or do you have another choice available? Well, you guys know what I’m going to say. We always have another choice available So what I do to begin with these things is I start to look at if this is something that’s been going on forever Like literally I’ve had this dynamic with this person forever And I could give a few examples in my own life Like I’ve had a certain dynamic in my relationships with men forever up until last year Well, what happened last year is I started asking for change. So that’s one of the first keys in Beginning to Instigate change in an area where you feel like you can’t change anything is you have to start to ask the universe to show you what it would be like if this was different you’ve got to involve the universe and I actually had a conversation with a guy on the plane on the way over here about involving the universe, you know We ended up talking for like six or seven or eight hours but I had asked the universe to set beside me in the airplane seat someone who is going to expand my financial reality and He sat there and literally this guy is brilliant with money brilliant with real estate we got into all these conversations and I ended up telling him that because I could and Because he started talking about this thing that he wanted to change in his life And I said well start asking the universe to show you what it would be like if this was different So that is living as the question. Hey universe, what would it take for this to be different? What would I have to be aware of? What what am I not looking at? These are some of the things I ask? What am I not looking at here that I could look at? What’s right about me here that I’m not looking at and I begin getting really curious about what I can fundamentally Become aware of That would empower me to make a different choice because our lives just show up from our choices So this dynamic with this person and I may just use her thing and you’re gonna have to extrapolate over to your thing I’m so sorry, but time Come on the series So What was my point so when you have a thing that is Happening over and over and over you have to begin to change it. You have to begin to start looking underneath it, right? Oh I’m so glad yay Oh crystal. I love you. Thank you for reminding me about the universe. Yes well, so Okay, cool, so I’m gonna just guy but I lost my train again so I’m gonna go back to her thing So she wants to get the freedom from stupid greedy people. Okay, and she wants to be able to to Say anything without being afraid, okay so let’s say you want to be able to Actually pay off your debt or let’s say that you’d really like to lose weight A lot of you mentioned weight and a lot of you mentioned debt So what do you have to begin to be with you? That would give you the space to create a change here Are you going to create a change in those areas from judging the way you’re currently handling them? Yes or no? Cool judgment judgments not going to do it right judging it. And so and yeah and Because you’re so used to judging yourself in these areas. It’s it’s a common It’s like you’ve been judging yourself about your weight and you’ve been judging yourself about money and you’ve been judging yourself about whatever this thing Is forever it will require more presence from you to you in order to to be an allowance of you So the opposite of judgment is allowance where everything is just interesting It’s just interesting that you feel like you can’t pay off your debt. It’s just interesting that you think you’re fat It’s just interesting that you know, you’re feeling fucked up about this particular person All of that is just interesting, but that choy That is a choice that you make in every second to be interesting point of view with you. So it requires You to be more fiercely present with you to choose Allowance over judgment in every 10 seconds and that my friends is really the muscle of consciousness right there I mean seriously you could end the show right there and like Practice that for the rest of your life and it will change everything because if you right now what’s happening in these particular areas that aren’t changing is Your thoughts and your feelings and your emotions and your ability to judge yourself is just running amok You know in those particular areas, you’re still being a two-year-old just like with muddy boots all over your own Inner world just muddying everything with judging you And how do I know that because once you stop judging you things change? Mic drop once you stop judging you things change, so the muscle to build the practice is in the presence with you in every moment, really and Most especially around these things that you feel like you can’t change you’ve got to be present with you in what’s underlying The behavior now you’re just going to be present with the energy because right now all we’re really seeing is behavior. We’re seeing symptoms Oh, I have this thing with people where when I talk to them and I follow up with them they go away Symptom I have this thing where I feel like I can’t say anything without being afraid symptom I Have this thing where I can’t pay off my debt Symptom I have this thing where I can’t lose weight symptom all of these are just the above-ground symptoms So you guys know this about health and well-being You can’t change a cold By taking cold medication, but you can feel better for a minute. You might give your body some relief so it can rest But the cold or the thing that’s going on in your body has to change from the inside Your body’s got to do all the immune system stuff and the good stuff and the magic Stuff and the energetic stuff and all that stuff on hand here has got to change for the symptoms to change The same is true of your life except with with your life you are the facilitator and you’re either gonna be a bitch to yourself and you’re gonna be mean as hell or you’re gonna be empowering and That’s the practice right? There might be mean as hell to myself or am I gonna be empowering and literally guys since I started this conversation? – of Becoming a great facilitator with yourself It’s it’s facilitated me even more especially in the times when I’m really struggling cuz I still have those, you know Especially as I’m asking for more every time you ask for more every time your life starts to expand, you know You are once again up against this What you’ve bought are the limitations of that So So you once again have to be even more present with listening to yourself listening to yourself is probably a very very very key part Of becoming a great facilitator of yourself is hearing you not just hearing your words but hearing what you’re saying to yourself hearing what you’re saying to other people watching what’s actually getting created out of that and Asking okay is what’s getting created what I’d like to create No Okay, how what are what would it take? What would I have to do or me that’s different to create something different to create a different result Because consciousness isn’t about right and wrong it’s just about what is So you can’t be like I’m here. Can you be more conscious less conscious? Yes Can you make conscious choices and unconscious choices? Yes, does any of that have anything to do with right and wrong? No fuck. All right, we’re on it. Right and wrong is made up But it does have something to do with what works and what doesn’t work. So In the areas where you want to create this change, what are you being that’s working? And what are you being that’s not working. That’s not actually creating a change. That’s not empowering you Anywhere you are judging you you are disempowering you anywhere that you are, you know, so So the antidotes become Our the and keys to total freedom So, okay. So you’re judging yourself. You’re disempowering yourself about this thing. What do you do? Well, you start using the ten keys Okay, what an infinite being truly choose to judge yes or no? No Okay. Well, I’m choosing that so I would choose to judge me for what reason? That key is intended to empower you to know that you always have another choice internally you can choose to judge yourself or you can choose to not judge yourself, but What’s gonna happen in the beginning as you are instituting? All of these keys is you’re going to find that most of your reactions from you – you feel automatic They feel like you don’t have any control over them, right? You’ve been doing them so long for so many years that it just feels so automatic. So in the beginning of this practice of presence, So somebody asked how you can aggressively present. I’m telling you. This is the whole last three minutes has been me telling you You listen, you hear and you’re like, okay, so I hear what I’m saying I hear what’s going on and instead of going and looking for the solution to what you think is your problem you Go looking for like okay. I have a fundamental point of view here. What’s my fundamental point of view that’s creating this reality? because nobody creates your reality, but you Nobody creates your inner reality, but you you’re you are the architect of what’s showing up in your life? You’re the architect of the symptoms and you’re the architect of the underlying points of view You may have bought them from family and we’re in a point of view soup And I’m not saying we’re not using blame or shame or regret or any of that It’s just what it is Okay, you’re the architect. So what we’re talking about is the conversation and what does it take to become the architect of a different future? right, so if in a different future Sometimes awareness is a bitch. Yeah But if you don’t judge it, it gets kind of funny. This is the gift of not doing judgment anymore and and really Practicing the muscle of not judging being a choice because it’s true. Trust me I am one of the hardest people on myself ever in the history of human. It’s being hard on people So there are still So much less but there are still areas of my life where my natural easiest choice is to judge the shit out of myself For what I become aware of So you can do that and you will but as you are beginning to practice becoming a great facilitator of yourself, you are going to start to hearing what you’re doing and That’s the gift The gift isn’t even that you make another choice Although that’s a gift The gift is that you get awareness of what the fuck you’re doing in the first place Because once you get an awareness of what you’re doing or what you’re choosing or what’s happening That’s when you have that’s when you are all of a sudden empowered that this is what’s happening And is this what I want to happen? And what would I like to create? It’s in that moment of consciousness that you are empowered to make another choice if you want to until that moment of consciousness You’re just unconsciously creating weight and debt and not enough money and you know being afraid that’s all unconsciousness So consciousness is not the solution to your problem. Consciousness is the light that shines on whatever it is going Hey, this is what you’re doing Then in that moment where you see it, that’s when you have some more choices. You’re like, oh fuck. That’s what I’m doing I hate myself. I don’t like myself throw me under the bus. I’m a useless piece of shit You can go that road or you can have this light shine on what you’re doing and go. Okay. That’s what I’m doing Wow so I would continually create debt for what reason and Some of these areas for me guys have taken years to unravel I’m gonna be honest like relationship in my world probably took It probably has taken my whole life. It’s probably taken lifetimes to be honest, but last year after a series of intense Abusive relationships I made a different demand of myself. So it doesn’t matter how long it takes I was asking about relationships and Working on it and changing it and running clearings about it going to classes about it and I was doing all the things and some of this stuff that you want to change might require all of that and more and Then it sort of came to a head and that’s when I made it just a in demand I’m like this fucking changes right now and From that, you know added some different tools And and this is the thing once you make it demand that something changes you will lead yourself To the thing that changes it Until you make a demand that it changes you’ll sort of be unravelling It’s like I don’t even know lightly painting over the wallpaper But once you make up met demand that something changes, you know, you’d like tear down the wall you build a new wall You’re like fuck it. This is just this whole walls changing completely. I’m doing something totally different So there’s no there’s no wrong there’s no wrong or right way to go about this which is a bit of a bitch But you have to start where you are. So you know with with for example paying off debt, I Was so aware that for so many years I just had no interest in paying it off I couldn’t find the motivation. I couldn’t find the interest I couldn’t find the joy of paying off my debt really like there was just an I was facilitating Classes around it. I was doing all the things I was running loops. I was reading books and it was changing but you know, so but finally, but but There I have a different point to the story than the one I was trying to go to right there So it was changing this thing around keeping myself in past expenditures. It was changing But when you’re asking for something to change so like what would it take for me to be a total communion with my body You don’t actually cognitively known that what it you don’t cognitively know what it will take, right the universe has to actually Show you what it will take and it has to lead you and you have to follow and it’s and that’s not a linear Process right? So some of this stuff that you want to change is your ask for something greater than you can even imagine Like we don’t do you even know what you’re asking for when you are asking for your body to lose weight You think that your ask is about your body getting smaller and it may be but the journey to get to that result for you could include all These different facets of what needs to change for you to actually be able to choose that choice You don’t know cuz if you knew you wouldn’t let yourself there already So you ask what would it take for me to have a smaller body? and so the universe is like okay move starts moving all these things into place and like Situations and people and things and you don’t know what you have to deal with what kind of unconsciousness you’ve got going on. That’s creating this symptom But the universe does and so in this so it’s and that right there. The universe moving things into place is called living Right and this is in your everyday, you know, you’re following the energy and all of a sudden you thought you were gonna turn Right, but you turn left and that leads you this place and you get into this conversation or you get onto that app And you meet that person or you write like this in the meantime You’re living so becoming a great facilitator of yourself is like paying attention just being present with you now. That’s the muscle The muscle is being present with you the moment you go into problem You have stopped being present the moment you go into judgment you’ve stopped being present. So, how do you be? How do you cultivate presence? Listen to yourself Use interesting point of view I have this point of view interesting point of view I have this point of view interesting point of view. I have this point of view interesting point of view I have this point of view use Hey, who does this belong to is this mine or someone else’s and a lot of you do this stuff? but you want to add to it the honoring of you and the allowance for you and and The vulnerability to go, okay I’ve done all the things. I think I should do What else can I be with me here? That would create a different space for me to have a different choice So you’re adding to all of these different keys that you’re using to craft a change you’re adding the elements of intimacy with you the presence with you the honouring of you the trust of you the vulnerability with you the gratitude for you the allowance for you and that woven together is the daily practice and it sounds like a lot but one of the reasons I made this a 12 call series is because well this It is a lot in the beginning because what you’re doing is you’re instituting and creating different habits for yourself Right. Now most of us are in the the deep-rooted habit of judging ourselves for everything and Trying to create change from a place of judgment, but it doesn’t work so what these keys are and these conversations are are the cultivation and the practice of Having creating for you different muscles different habits different practices and so in the beginning it’s kind of work. It’s a lot of work But okay, do you want a different life? What kind of work would you have to put in to have a different life? Do you really want to change money or do you want to just talk about changing money? Do you really want to change being in debt, or do you want to just talk about wanting to change being in debt? Do you really want to have a different dynamic with people or do you want that to be your continual problem? so if what you really want is change you got to be willing to do or be something different and That’s what this class is. All about is the Conversations and the clearings that will start to shave off the unconsciousness that’s keeping you in the stupid, right? but also the invitation to using a Facet of a tool in a way that you probably haven’t considered before that will begin to give you more awareness of what’s going on So that you can actually have another choice Right now the things that are showing up in your life that aren’t working for you are driven by your unconscious choices Okay cool or your points of view or whatever so that the key to change is The presence with that and the willingness to make another choice and what’s required Is for you to be willing to institute a different practice with you and the tools? So I’d really like to invite you to the first call tomorrow. It’s 25 bucks like it’s nothing and This is a game-changing series if what you really want is change in your life and so you can come tomorrow and if you’d like to Play on the twelve calls. We’ll just invite you to that and that’s gonna officially start next week By the ten keys to total freedom But don’t just buy it and set it on your nightstand actually make that your Bible if you were functioning as the ten keys to total freedom you’d have total freedom and Right. Now are you having that or are you having something else? And what would you like to choose? And I’m gonna save the rest for tomorrow so thank you so much for this and for showing up and I’m gonna head out of here this beautiful hotel and Dubai I’m going to head over to the airport and I will see you next week from Australia Have a great day

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