Good morning Hank, it’s Monday. I’m wearing a suit made out of signatures but I can’t remember why; please ignore my crazy eyes, they’re crazy! Mmmmm, crazy… I wanna thank everybody for participating in signing psychosis, because I know my fashion sense is gettting worse and worse as I get crazier and crazier with the signatures, but your fashion sense is also getting worse, Nerdfighteria, and that makes me feel better. Sometimes I just like to rub my signatures. Do you think it could be the Sharpie chemicals? Maybe they’re making me, you know… crazy. Am I crazy? Or am I the sanest person in the room? I’m the only person in the room. Hold on, Hank, I have to acquire another person to test my sanity. Willie, are you a dog or a man? There’s no such thing as a mog, which are you?! Hank, I realize I must free myself from the tyranny of these signatures! *Angelic singing* Movie Magic! Hank, as you know, I’m under a lot of stress right now, mostly because of the TFIOS signing; let’s go to the TFIOS-ometer. OW! DOHH! Ohhh, I’ve made a mistake! It’s not as wheely as I thought it was gonna be. So Hank, as you can see, I only have 25,000 copies left to sign, but a) 25,000 is a lot of copies and b) I don’t have many non-travel days left in which to sign those books, so I’m sort of freaking out right now. Hank, I wanna quickly thank Nerdfighteria again for giving me the world’s first-est first-world problem. I signed 5300 books yesterday, it took me about 14 hours, I’m going to have to keep that pace going on every non-travel day between now and November third in order to finish, I hope that I finish, because otherwise some of you will get unsigned books and you will be very mad at me, and I will be mad at myself, there will be a lot of anger in the room. *takes a deep breath loudly* Sometimes when I feel a lot of anxiety, i just want to, like, sound my barbaric yop over the rooftops of the world, like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! Somebody got me a zombie unicorn hat, Hank, wasn’t that nice? Alright Hank, we are now at Holiday Park and people are looking at me funny but I don’t know why, I’m just a man in a suit with a zombie unicorn hat filming himself. What else do you expect to see in a public park on a Monday morning? Ok, Hank, I need Nerdfighteria’s help. Nerdfighters, you have uncovered the story of Ivan the Terrible’s terrible library, you have found the truth about Gussie Manlove, and now I need you to explain to me… the ruins. So, there are these weird, fake ruins in the middle of a public park here in Indianapolis, but they’ve kind of become real ruins due to decades of neglect. So I’m hoping that by using the combined research powers of Nerfighteria, we can figure out, y’know, what the heck. Hank, this would, of course, would be a great time to use Your Pants, but unfortunately, Your Pants are still broken, sentences that don’t make sense out of context. So, uh, we can use a forum at the Ning or YouTube comments here, but I’m hoping that you guys can just help me figure out… what is this strange and terrible beauty behind me? Hank, I’m gonna go back to signing, but I will see you on Wednesday. PS: Nerdfighters, I will be reading from The Fault in Our Stars in Indianapolis on November first, then I will also be at the final Beckoning of Lovely event at the Bean in Chicago, on November 11th; more info in the dooblydoo. P.P.S: Hank I know we’re throwing words around like ‘crazy’ and ‘psychosis’, and I also know lots of nerdfighters including this one, *points to self* have struggled with or are struggling with mental illness. So, anyway I don’t want to make fun of mental illness, I want to make fun of me. Alright, thats all, see you tomorrow… Wednesday. Gah, I’m so bad at days!