The Most Beautiful Thing You Can See on Mushrooms – Sam Jay

The Most Beautiful Thing You Can See on Mushrooms – Sam Jay


I’ve been on the road. So this is nice. It’s nice to just take all this
L.A. shit in, all these white faces in. Because I moved here from
Boston, you know? So when I got to L.A.,
it was super culture shock. I had never seen so many
homeless white men in my life. It was weird to me! I’m from a city where the white
dudes either do meth, or they work plumbing,
you know what I mean? But they do something. I’d never seen so many
able-bodied white dudes just sleeping on the street,
you know? And I really hated when they
would ask me for money, you know what I mean? Like, I’m a black lesbian. I’m never gonna give you shit. Go cut your hair
and work at a Subway. What the hell is your problem? But that’s what the road does, it just opens you up, man,
and exposes you to all different types
of people. I was like, “L.A. is bad with
the homeless white dudes,” and then I went to Portland
and I was like, “Holy shit, this is crazy.” And then I went to Bonnaroo
and was really mind-blown, man. I went to Tennessee,
did Bonnaroo. I’d never been to
a music festival like that. So open and free, just girls walking around with
their titties out everywhere, eating medium-rare burgers
all willy-nilly. Living! I had a medium-rare burger
myself. The whole time, I felt like
I was disrespecting my mother. I was like, “Man, you were
raised so much better than this. What are you doing?” But it was good.
I liked the texture, the flavor. And that’s how I ended up trying
mushrooms, because I was like,
“Fuck it.” Maybe everything is a lie,
you know what I mean? Because I’m a D.A.R.E. kid, man.
I’m scared of drugs. I grew up scared of drugs. I didn’t start smoking weed
till I was 25. Petrified of drugs.
Never tried mushrooms. Had arguments with my friends
over not trying mushrooms. I remember one time, my homeboy
was like, “Sam! “How have you never tried
mushrooms? “It’s one of the best drugs
on earth. “What is your problem? How have you never experienced
this?” And I was like, “Dude. “All I could think about is
going out my door, “and seeing a crackhead
and a fucking fiend fighting over a baby stroller.” Like, I don’t live in a
mushroom-friendly environment. But it’s not like that,
you know what I’m saying? I did mushrooms. I did mushrooms in Bonnaroo,
man. And I took it in a chocolate
bar, you know what I’m saying? They gave me a chocolate bar
full of mushrooms, because white people
know how to do drugs. I ate the shit. And I bounce to this EDM band, and they’re partying,
humping off the Molly, I’m trying to figure out
what’s going on here. And this black dude comes
walking through, and he’s jacked as shit. Jacked.
Super Diesel. No shirt on.
Looking tough as fuck. But he’s got on these
giant fairy wings. But he’s still tough; he’s still
bullying through the crowd with these fairy wings like,
“Nigga, you better not “crumple up my fairy wings. I’m a fuck you up.” And he walks to this clearing,
and I’m like, “Holy shit.” And then this dude–just as
big–white dude, just as big, in a Teletubby costume,
walks up to him. Just as jacked! And I’m like, “What kind of
Pokémon showdown is this ’bout to be?” And then they hugged each other! And as I was watching it,
I was like, “I don’t know if this is how
Martin Luther King dreamed it. But this is it;
this is equality.” – Oh, wait, I just realized
I look like Kate Micucci.

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  1. Racist ish!! Y'all wouldn't like a white man to walk in talking about ain't never seen so many black men sleeping on the streets. Ain't never seen so many black men that need to take a shower, black men do drugs,bECT. IDGAF she's a black lesbian. Don't give her the okay to he racist!!!! Then gonna scream about equality!! B have SEVERAL SEATS!!!!!!

  2. hell yeah girl!! mushrooms are amazing! but definitely you need to be in a comfortable mindset, and a safe setting to enjoy them as they should be enjoyed. if you're in a negative headspace, or in, as you said, "a mushroom unfriendly environment" it's very possible you'll have a bad time, because you think very very deeply after eating them. and if the things around you are bad, or the things inside you are bad, you'll absolutely notice, and think very deeply about them, and it can be overwhelming. overwhelming enough to break you. i still think learning can be done, even through a bad trip but. you can also do that learning from a safe space, incrementally, where you're comfortable and can contemplate your role in the universe without feeling catastrophically depressed.

    set and setting, absolutely the most important thing to consider before eating mushrooms. <3

    i'm really glad you had a good time.

  3. Stopped watching comedy central cuz it's gotten so far left that its pathetic. Saw this joke and was like no way they ruin it seems like a good joke. Then she starts off with some like white hate not really even funny overused garbage and led into butchering the joke which I thought was funnier when I just read it. Lol.

  4. Hey Comedy Central. Stop putting fake like dislike ratios up and spamming the comment section with bots. Go back to being edgy and stop pandering.

  5. WHY DO BLACK LESBIANS ALWAYS LOOK LIKE SAMUEL L JACKSON ????๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  6. That Portland joke hit me HARD, I stayed in a hotel there as a kid and I just realized recently that the weird smell in there was just a whole bunch of weed smoke

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